But this isn’t really a post about Whitney Houston.

It is a post about our time in “the dash”.

You know “the dash”, right?  It is that time between our birth and our death represented by that very small line known simply as “the dash”.   Despite the challenges of Whitney’s life in recent years, we have been reminded this week that perhaps, just perhaps her legacy to the music industry brought about by that  tremendous gift people are now dubbing “THE voice” far outweighed the Whitney of today.  Quite frankly, I was reminded not only of how powerful a singer she was at her peak, I was pleasantly surprised to hear of her many major contributions to the entertainment industry.  For example, I didn’t realize that Whitney was the first black woman to grace the cover of Seventeen Magazine.  I didn’t realize that she was the first successful black artist on MTV.  I had long forgotten the courage of she and Kevin Costner to explore an inter-racial relationship on the big screen.

In other words, this week we were reintroduced to Whitney’s “dash”.  Not the isolated snapshots over the past several years, but ALL of her dash.  The beginning, the middle and the end and we were reminded that it was, in fact, one hell of a dash.  We were reminded that the sum total of one’s life cannot be contained by bad behavior, stints in rehab or even by media frenzy.

We each have a dash that contains the good, the bad and the ugly and we each have this little (or actually not so little) thing called “the power of choice”.  The power of choice not only gives us the opportunity to create a positive legacy, it gives us the power to begin each day anew, irrespective of what occured the previous day.

Legacy is not about mega-stardom.  It is not about being Whitney Houston or Madonna.  Nor is it even about being Martin Luther King or Ghandi.

Legacy is about being the best you, that you can be.  Legacy is about setting the example in your space to live the fullest possible life with joy, energy and conviction.  Legacy is about not only lifting yourself up, but those around you in the process.  Those we consider the “greats” of this world did not start out seeking fame or celebrity.  They had a voice inside them that rang so loudly that it could not be stiffled and, in the process, others heard that voice and followed it…

One of the most powerful moments for me in watching Whitney’s funeral was when Rickey Minor (former Music Director for Whitney Houston in the 80′s and 90′s and current Music Director for The Tonight Show) said simply of Whitney, “Were it not for you, I would not be me.”  

You have a voice.  You have a legacy.  You have a dash.

What are you doing with it?

You were born to be great.

Did you know that Tom Brady was drafted #199 (yes, that is one hundred ninety-nine) in the 6th round of the 2000 NFL draft?  He was finally picked up by the Patriots and initially joined the roster as their #4 QB.

Tom Brady was dejected.  Although Brady was happy to actually get picked up, he NEVER thought he would go so low in the draft and began to wonder if he would get picked up at all.  When he first met his QB coach, he asked, “Do you know who I am?”  The coach replied, “Of course.  You’re the kid we picked up at #199.”  Brady’s response?  ”I’m the best pick you ever made.”

And he set out to prove it.

Brady did not allow where he started to define his career.  In fact, it became his motivation.  He was determined to not only prove himself but to exploit any opportunities that were given to him.  Although he began his first season as the number 4 quarterback in the depth charts, he finished in the number 2 spot behind Drew Bledsoe.

He had one goal in mind:  To work hard enough and play well enough to become the starting quarterback.  During the 2001 season, he got his chance when Bledsoe got hurt.  His first few starts were rather unremarkable but he soon hit his stride and the rest, as they say, is history.

His motivation?

Tom Brady knows first hand what it’s like to start at the bottom.  He knows what it’s like to be undervalued as a contributor.  He always plays to keep his #1 spot and he takes NOTHING for granted.

What about you?  How comfortable are you in your role in your organization?  Are you just happy to be there or are you playing to succeed? 

Tom Brady teaches us that it doesn’t matter what others think of your potential.  At times, only YOU know what you can do.   Sometimes, only YOU may know what you’re truly capable of.

Don’t let others perception of who you are define you.  Work hard. Play hard.  Practice hard.  Prove that you deserve a starting spot and then when you get there, continue to work just as hard to stay there and your career will take care of itself.

True to his word, the 199th draft pick of the 2000 NFL draft has turned into one of, if not the best pick the Patriots have ever made.  What about you?  Are you the best pick your company has ever made?  Does anyone know it besides you?

You were born to be great.

Continued Success!

She’s a financial analyst by training and quite brilliant by anyone’s standards and yet, she cannot get hired.  After speaking with her for about an hour, here’s what I learned:

• She’s strong INTJ on the Myers-Briggs Scale
• She considers herself to be a no-nonsense, shoot from the hip, call-em-as-I-see-em person, in other words “If you don’t want the truth, don’t ask me.”
• She does not consider herself a people person. In fact (her words), people are a bit of a nuisance….
• Not unlike many professionals today, especially those in technical or finance fields, she still operates under the misconception that her skills and brilliance will not only get her hired but make her successful.  “This is who I am.  Why do I have to navigate all this touchy-feely stuff?”

How do you think this might affect her interview process?

Whether you are a person that is slow to warm up to others or you just prefer solo tasks to group activities, here are a few tips to support rapport building quickly:

1.  If you have an introverted personality, motivate yourself by recognizing that you don’t have the luxury of a long courtship during the interview process

2.  Most interviews are less about confirming technical competency and more about determining fit with people, culture and company so whether you like it or not, chances are you’ll receive a lot more behavioral questions than technical ones.

3.  Do your best to be genuine and authentic throughout the process.

4.  Adjust to your interviewers temperament style

5.  Keep an eye on body language and adjust accordingly

6.  Enhance your behavioral skills through programs that focus on soft skills

Remember, whether you work for someone else or aspire to work for yourself, you can accomplish little without working with and/or through others. There are a number of programs and tools out there to help you advance those skills but get over the notion that your technical competencies alone will get you to the corner office.

You were born to be great.

Continued Success!

If you are like most people, you probably (once again) made some 2012 Resolutions.  You know, those self-improvement “to do” lists that many of us tend to make at the dawn of a new year.  Well, imagine for a moment that you were to be the Michelangelo of this age, but you stayed so busy doing all kinds of things – good things – that you never got around to painting and sculpting.  You would end up missing the big plan and design for your life because you got distracted chasing the lesser things.

What a disappointment it would be for you and all the people who would have been blessed if you had stayed focused on your original purpose!

Consider making a list of things “not-to-do” in 2012.  Fill your list with things you do that don’t match your life’s purpose.  Start by spending time this week clarifying your life’s purpose, and then ruthlessly move everything else onto your list of things not-to-do!

You were born to be great.

Continued Success!

There is so much in today’s work environment that we cannot control.  It is the biggest single frustration my clients face (and report) on an almost daily basis.  It is fine to acknowledge one’s frustration with the uncontrollable but if we’re going to be effective leaders, we must FOCUS on what we can control.

Right now I’m reading a great book written by Kevin & Jackie Freiberg titled, BOOM!: 7 Choices for Blowing the Doors Off Business-As-Usual. In a section dedicated to focus and responsibility they say, “The more you focus on what you can control, the more freedom you have to take a stand.”

Generalizing and catastrophizing one’s current situation does not move you forward.  In other words, do not make current circumstances bigger than what they really are.  Instead, focus on the task in front of you today.  Consider Michael Phelps, not only a gold medal Olympic swimmer several times over but arguably one of ( if not the) best swimmers in history.  If every day that Michael practiced, he said to himself (catastrophizing), “I could never win at the Olympics because there are too many great swimmers out there in the world” we would not know the name Michael Phelps and so much of the world would not have been graced to see the stunning fluidity of his athleticism.  Instead, my guess is that at every practice and at every race when he got in the pool, he may have said something like, “Today, I’m going to get in the pool and practice the best I can (or run the best race I can).”  He focused on what he could control.  He focused on what was in front of him at that very moment and race by race he swam his way into the record books.

Keep your eye on the ball of what you do well!

As a leader you’ve got to tackle the things you can’t control by focusing on the things you can control. Things such as poor coworkers, outdated equipment, and lack of resources are often outside of a leaders influence. It doesn’t matter how much influence leaders have, there will always be some circumstances where they don’t have the ability to control and make change.

Successful leaders take those circumstances and make the best of them. They focus on what they can control and what they can improve. They learn to minimize time spent with poor coworkers by maximizing the amount of time they spend with great coworkers, find ways to use their outdated equipment effectively, and become more creative to deal with their lack of resources.

You were born to be great.

Continued Success!

Coaching.

As few as five to seven years ago, coaching was still primarily attributed to the world of sports.  Now, we see the term “coaching” applied in every genre – business, music, finances, entertainment, health, etc.   Anyone has at their disposal, the ability to apply coachable moments in the conduct of their work, but a qualified few can apply coaching concepts as a discipline and skill set specifically designed to generate effective results for their client or target audience.

The beauty of coaching is that because we are evolutionary beings,  almost everyone of us is coachable at some point in our lives.  The challenge is that not everyone is coachable RIGHT NOW.    In order for coaching to have a chance at being successful, the individual MUST be open to participating and learning from the experience.  In coaching vernacular, we say one must be coach-able.

Therefore, if you are in a position to recommend others for coaching in your organization, it is imperative that you be able to identfiy folks who are also NOT ready for coaching.  This doesn’t mean they will never be coachable, it just means that you may want to consider other options or tools for now (including the possibility of an exit strategy).   As an example, some “uncoachables” have a low level of self-awareness.  You may consider 360′s, Birkmans or other assessments that can move the individual toward greater self-awareness and openness to coaching.

So how do you spot these folks?  It’s not just a roll of the dice.  The following are some indicators that should help:

1.  They don’t think they need to change. When was the last time you heard, “This is just who I am and I’m too old to change.”  Bingo!  Whether they are old, young or in-between, one sign of those not ready is they don’t perceive the need to change.  As far as they are concerned, their way of being and doing business is working just fine (despite the chaos going on around them).  If this is the case, coaching will be a waste of time.

2.  They think everyone else is the problem. In addition to not perceiving the need to change, these folks often feel “the problem” lies with everyone else.  As a coach often brought in to work with senior leaders, I find that in some cases,  success breads a feeling of infallability.  These leaders tend to be impervious to negative feedback and only committed to my “fixing” everyone else.  In these situations, I often bid a respectful retreat.  It is impossible to help those who are committed to the idea that everyone else is the problem.

3.  They are pursuing the wrong strategy for the organization. If the individual is already heading in the wrong direction, coaching will only take them there faster.

4.  They are in the wrong job. If your employee has their eye on the door, they will absolutely LOVE the idea of YOUR company paying for a coach to help them figure out what’s next and how to get there (remember, coaching is a confidential process so you will only see the result, you won’t know the details).  As much as you can, you want to know that the person you are investing resources in is going to be a part of the team for the foreseeable future.  As you consider individuals for coaching, keep an ear open for signs of disgruntled behavior.

5.  They are (for whatever reason) anti-coaching. Because coaching has been used historically as a reactive tool to “fix” unwanted behavior instead of a proactive performance tool, some (correctly) believe that calling in a coach means they are failing and for them, coaching is the equivalent of “big brother” looking over their should.  If someone is 100% anti-coaching, the worst thing you can do is force them into it.

You were born to be great!

Continued Success!

Successful managers are not perfect but they do get more done, get more out of their team and have better retention rates than their unsuccessful peers.  Because we are complex human beings, management success seldom boils down to a succinct list of traits so while not comprehensive, here are eight at the top that can definitely advance your success.

• Are comfortable in their own skin

This is the one secret that we often see in successful managers that is seldom discussed.  Successful managers just seem to exude a confidence that inspires others.  It is not necessarily a confidence inspired by a “know it all” attitude, but rather the sense that they either hold the answers or have access to the resources that will contribute to their success.   Others tend to describe them as “authentic”.  They demonstrate their humanness in the execution of their work.

• Empower others to be their best self

Successful managers empower others to succeed.  Your team is better than they know.  In fact, you’re team is better than anyone knows.  As human beings, we have greater potential than we can quantify!  So how do you know if you are empowering your team to be their best selves?  Ask yourself a few tough questions.  Do you believe your team is better than they know?  Does your team know how good you think they are and how much better they can be?  Can your team make intelligent, thoughtful decisions without you being there because you have taught them how to evaluate information and make the best decisions with the information available?

• Set the example

Your team follows your lead from beginning to end.  If you come in late, don’t be surprised to see them coming in late as well.  If you sneak out early when the boss is gone, what do you think your team will do when you are out of the office?  From respecting the dress code to being respectful with a customer complaint, your team follows your lead.  Be conscious that you are the example in all that you say and do because someone is always watching (and taking notes).

• Set stretch goals for themselves and their teams

What is the difference between a goal and a stretch goal?  A goal is something we can reasonably be assured that we will accomplish based on history or easiness of the goal.  A s-t-r-e-t-c-h goal is also “do-able” but tends to be outside of one’s reach unless you assign considerable focus and diligence to accomplishing it.  We cannot grow if goals are easy.  We never push ourselves to find out what we can really accomplish and chances are that a stretch goal unachieved will still take you further than a simple goal achieved.  Make sure you share your stretch goals with those around you and then work with your team to help them set stretch goals as well!

• Don’t worry about who gets credit

Don’t worry about who gets credit for things.  Share as much credit as you can with your team because if they do great things, you’ll look good anyway no matter who came up with the idea.  The more your team realizes that you want them to get credit for success, the more they will respect you and also want you to have credit for being a great manager!  If you try to snag credit for every little thing the team does, you’ll just end up looking like a glory hound and your team will stop working so hard to do the extra things that would otherwise move them forward.

• Admit when they’re wrong

As human beings, we are imperfect beings.  Period.  You are going to make mistakes (especially if you’re taking risks).  It’s just part of being a manager and being human.  When you do make the inevitable mistake, admit it.  There are many lesson to be learned by our team when we have the capacity and humility to admit our errors, grow from them and move on.

• Ask for help when they need it

You don’t know everything.  You can’t know everything.  So be willing to ask for help when you need it.  Ask your peers, your manager and your team.  In showing your team that it’s good to ask for help, they’ll ask for help too.

• Say thanks often and authentically

Saying thank you is often the simplest and yet most forgotten form of appreciation we can give to others.  Authentic gratitude for a job well done goes a LONG way in getting the best out of your team and building relationships of mutual respect.  The key is to ensure that your appreciation is authentic.  False gratitude feels manipulative so if you don’t really mean it, then don’t say it.

You were born to be great.

Continued Success!

The year is now half over and if you’re like most folks, you probably made some resolutions (or otherwise set goals) at the start of the year.   I wonder – what did you declare to yourself that you would be “free from” in 2011?  What did you declare your independence from?

January 1st is a time of declared promises..of fresh starts.  Does any of this sound familiar?

In 2011, I will..

..lose weight.

..gain more vitality.

..find a better job.

..make more money.

..have more confidence.

..generate more revenue.

..travel more.

..attend church more regularly.

..do better at saving money.

..go back to school.

What other BHAGS’s (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) made it on your list?

Are you on track?  If so, GREAT!  Keep the momentum going.

If not, what happened? Are you still trying to accomplish your goals or did you get so far off track you just quit?

If so, I’ve got news for you —–

The calendar may say July 12th but EVERY DAY is January 1st (theoretically of course).  Each day provides a new opportunity to begin again.  To pick yourself up, dust yourself off, recommit and make it happen. The thing about goals is that in order to move toward something, we must declare ourselves free of something else….

..apathy

..laziness

..being tired

..low self-esteem

..poor health

..limiting belief systems

..and on and on and on…

So—-what goals will you set (or re-ignite) for the remainder of the year?  What will you declare yourself free from for the remainder of 2011?  Take some time this week to think about what you want your life to look like by years end – health, professional, relationship, financial, spiritual etc and get going!

It’s never too late!

You were born to be great.

Continued Success!

Anger. Outrage. Injustice.

These feelings rang so loudly in my head when I heard the Casey Anthony verdict that I could focus on little else.  NO justice for little Calee.

As the day wore on however, I found myself reflecting on the events of the past several months.  Of the cases presented by the defense and the prosecutors, of the perspective of the jurors, of the impetus of my own anger and outrage and (as always) what I could learn (what WE could learn) from this similarly OJ-ish child death case.

As a resident of Orlando, I can tell you that we have literally been inundated by the Casey Anthony case for the past three years without a break. I could care less for the all the pre-trial hype but once the trial began…

I was completely sucked in.

Having had a little time now to process the verdict, I wanted to share my thoughts on what I am learning (or re-learning) from the Casey Anthony saga as it relates to my work and my life.  There are lessons in everything if we are open to them so here are a few that I wanted to share with you. This post was written as much for me as for you but I hope that something written here supports your journey as much as it does my own:

1. There is no such thing as “fair”. The work of trial is about conviction or acquittal.  The work of corporations is about “profit” – period.  I stand for “fair” always but I recognize that fair does not always exist simply because I want it to.
2. The rule of law supercedes our feelings and beliefs about the verdict just as corporate policies supercede our feelings and beliefs about how certain human resource situations are resolved. Many have worked with associates who have gotten away with something unacceptable to most but because they operated just inside of (or manipulated) corporate policies, they technically could not be reprimanded according to the corporate standard.  We create rules and policies for the majority of people who will honor and respect them, not the minority of people who manipulate and/or abuse them.  It would be impossible to create rules and policies that address all of the pathological behaviors that human beings can engage in and even if it were possible, it would make our lives so restrictive as to be unbearable.
3. “Like-ability” matters. I’m not a Jose Baez fan but I have to admit that as the trial wore on, I could see him emerging as a more “like-able” guy.  For the most part, he managed his temper well, he seemed to engage less often in the tit-for-tat behavior of the prosecution and he took his lumps maturely.  When I compare that to prosecutor Ashton (for example) who was very visible and the most volatile of the prosecution team, I wonder if Ashton’s like-ability factor may have negatively impacted the prosecution.  Yes, we are “supposed” to focus on the facts of the case or the business at hand but the reality is that we view those we like with a different lens than those we don’t.  We just do.
4. Arrogance is generally not considered attractive. Confidence is great.  Arrogance is not.  Again, it seemed that the prosecution crossed this line in the final days of the trial.  I can only presume that if I saw it, the jury did as well.  I will forever remember the jauntiness with which Ashton returned to court after the verdict was determined and while the jury didn’t see his behavior, I wonder to what extent that cockiness manifested itself in his presentation and left an unsavory taste in the mouths of the jurists.
5. Nothing succeeds like success. Admittedly not my line but one taken from WFTV Orlando legal analyst Bill Sheaffer.  If you’re like me and didn’t care for Mr. Baez, the fact remains that the result of the trial will catapult him to rock-star status.  Nothing succeeds like success.
6. When things don’t go your way, there comes a time when you have to move on. We all have different tolerance levels for bad news.  Allow yourself time to grieve and respond to the loss or result and then decide to move on.  Learn from the outcome but don’t allow your attachment to drain your energy for all the good things left to come.
7. Breathe. Initially the hardest thing to do when things don’t do the way we would like.  I saw red when the verdict was read.  All I could express was my outrage.  I’m quite sure I didn’t breathe for at least two hours.  I was trapped in “and another thing!” mode and couldn’t get out.  After two hours of raging against the system (and the jury) the quiet voice inside me (in my case, God) said, “Valerie, it’s time.”  I listened and I began to breathe again.  I still felt bad for Calee but I was no longer attached.  I could communicate with others about the verdict, express my opinion, honor any differing opinions without wanting to attack and let it go.
8. NO ONE (or no THING or no RESULT or no VERDICT) gets to steal your joy. As much as we may not like something, it is worse to give one’s power, energy or joy away to a situation that is no longer in one’s control.  Do what you can to affect a result and then let it go and move on.

I would love to get your thoughts.

Continued Success!